I like to feel that I am a compassionate person. When my friend Vicki emails me about saving the wolves, dog people, children and anything else that need someone to stand along with their cause. I post the causes to Facebook, and twitter, and friends. I am also political and proud of it.  When I received an email about the tragedy of the killing of Trayvon Martin I was more upset than ever.  I have been feeling about the injustice how it seems those with authority and legal firearms seem to shoot first than give a story why they did it although everyone feels it was a mistake and a tragedy and uncalled for. Too many young youths of color have been shot in the same year or so and it has to stop.   Racial profiling has to stop, hatred and racist has to stop.  I am only one single person but there must be so many more.  Yesterday I found that the Mount Calvary Baptist Church was holding a march for Trayvon and I took my puppy Pepper and we went there.

I was proud to stand with many African Americans, listening  the politicians, and the clergy and the NAACP as well as activists. They gave many great speeches and the crowd was very respectable and quiet.  When the event was over everyone dispersed walking towards the original  beginning at the march at the Church. While walking with Pepper the walk is slower than I would ever go,but it was more intersting as I was able to eavesdrop  two  young guys walking behind me.   They were talking about one of the speeches and how he mentioned that there youths kill and hurt there own and they have to stop that to be believable in this world.  If they killed each other than others will kill them.  In other words they need to show their respectfulness to each other  to get more respect for themselves.

I couldnt help myself to turn and talk to them.  I said that they need to stay strong and do good things and people will listen to you.  One of the guys said,”All we need is to have peace and love.”  I agreed and we walked more for awhile.

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It seems that everyday I hear the irritating buzzing of a buzz saw in my neighborhood. It happened after the hurricane Irene weather event coupling with  the strange October snow event.   So may trees fell down at each of those terrible times that it seemed to have scared home owners to the breaking point and now they are cutting down actually big strong healthy trees because they’re scared.  I am so sad about this and  I can’t do anything about it.  My next neighbors across the fence bullied me for two years to cut a majestic  seventy five old plus tree because it had forked out through the years and when spring came it sprouted some funky fungus in between the forks. The wife with  her little twangy nasal voice told her whipped hubby that the tree was going to fall into her yard and by the way the fungus hurt her  esthetics  which is a  gorgeous view to the boring side of my house.   Finally they kept on bullying me about the poor tree and stupid jerk me fell with their arguments stating what the  arboretum people told them that the tree was going to go and the dork husband told me that he had to protect his family and I gave in.  Jerk me doubled.  I let them it was horrible watching that great big tree that wasn’t hurting anyone except the Brit and now I have a ridiculous five foot or so stump that anyone can tell was as healthy as ever.

Now the entire town is cutting down good wonderful healthy trees almost everyday.  The tree business people are having a field day and next when spring comes and the roots that had sucked up the rain water and diverted away from their  basement getting flooding will have their time to cash in as well. Not that I care about people getting jobs and stuff but there are alot of ways to fix and prune and tend to trees rather than chop them down.

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        I love Tuesdays. The reason is because movies are free if you have an account on Cablevision.To get one you need to enroll in what they call the triple play plan. One needs to purchase an account for the internet, television and your telephone.  Its actually a good deal and better than the other one that will be unknown but usually everyone knows who I mean.  I used to have the Gold Plan, but I changed to the silver as I seem to watch channels four, two, seven and even eleven.  I love Gossip Girl.  I don’t need the Disney channel and the sport programs.  I do miss the Showtime channel especially Californication and the Larry Davis Show, but its okay.  HBO still has great shows in the silver plan.    I digress. By the way I am a widow with two children both out of the house, one married with two children and  the other living in the city with roommates but a great boyfriend.My husband didn’t like most movies, the only one that he did like was the James Bond series.  It made it hard for us to ever go to the movies together and when he did come with me to a what he would call a women’s movie,  he would go right to sleep and even snore-out loud.  That’s why I love Tuesdays now for the ability to go to the movies and watch any movie I want to.  Not that I wouldn’t want my husband and the hell of the movies.  I miss him terrible. But I do have the empty part of my filled up with the excitement in so many great movies that I watch wide eyed and think about them after I go back home.  There are other reasons for my Tuesdays because it allows me to free my life for a few hours and escape into the magical large screen with out anyone being dragged against their will.  It’s been a few months  and I have found that I love the movies move than I ever realized.  There;s usually a full house and also usually a grouping of the elderly.  I don’t mind that mostly everyone are very old people.  The reason is that not many people have the time to go to the movie in the middle of the day-actually around 4:00 except the older.   There is a later movie on Tuesdays,  but I like to go to the early ones and anyway I love older people.  They are so much smarter than most people think they are.  I mean think about how much knowledge and history they have  collected through the years.  Lets not forget  that they are the true survivors.  They have gone through all sort of crisis-wars,  heartbreaks,  the deaths of friends and other love ones, crazy weather,such as tornadoes, flooding and they are still here albeit walking slowly than younger people and maybe that’s a good thing as it allows them to take in more than the young that seem to live their lives in a breakneck place, missing so much that’s out there, so much wonderful things that they  might miss in their haste to something move important to them.  Take for my husband , he was thirty years older than me and I considered he was  a great husband and a wonderful provider and he taught me more than anyone my age never could, he was so wise and so kind,  but enough for my life,  all I know is that  I have been the movies to fill my life to look forward to and to think about after.  I will always miss my husband and I have wonderful memories but at least I have filled my life with something magical and that’s the movies and guess what on Tuesdays they are free. Who could have thought something wonderful like that could just fall in my lap like that.

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Finding Jesus by Lynne Cheson

July fourth weekend started with me being bored and in need of some entertainment.  It could have turned out to be one drearier weekend in my life–except for one thing.  I found Jesus.  Big deal you might say. People are finding Jesus everyday.  Mine was a little different than most, though.  You see I found Jesus in a Kmart parking lot in Closter, New Jersey.

Maybe this needs some more explanation. You see, I was all alone. My twenty-one year old daughter, Alexi was spending three days of sun, fun and beach time at the Hamptons, while my eldest daughter, Nicole was at a swimming pool at the local JCC with her husband and their two children, my grandchildren–Aidan and Sophia.  I felt myself sinking into a depression and knew I had to snap out of it quickly. In a short while I came up with an excuse to get me out of the house. My day became a search for lawn furniture cushions.  Kmart was the closest store in my area that might have what I wanted.

I grabbed my keys, went into my car and drove less than ten miles to my destination. I was surprised to see that the parking lot was more than half full for a holiday weekend. It was a sunny bright day after all.  I found a parking spot as close as I could to the stores entrance, then jumped out of the car with a mission. After I walked a few feet towards the welcoming doors a glint on the parking lot macadam hit my eyes.  I stopped, looked at the tiny sparkle in the giant parking lot and swooped down for a better view.  Sure enough there was something shiny on the gritty tar streaked ground.  I picked it up and took an even closer look.  It was a figure.  I adjusted my eyeglasses and immediately identified the object.  It was a teeny, tiny golden Jesus.  Less than an inch long and if you counted the outstretched arms a little less than three quarters of an inch wide.  He was some type of tinny metal, very bendable and paper thin–he had a lot of sparkle though.  I placed him in the palm of my hand and quickly decided to hold on to my little Jesus for dear life.  After all I held the icon of many millions and at that moment I felt the responsibility of the ages. I glanced around the lot to see if anyone was looking as though they lost Jesus but there wasn’t anyone around.  The parking lot was deserted and so I proceeded towards Kmart.

I had a dilemma.  What to do with my little icon.  I certainly couldn’t throw it away. The answer was easy enough. It didn’t take too long for me to claim it as my own. After I made my decision I obviously didn’t want Jesus to slip through my fingers, therefore as I walked into the store, I put him carefully in a small empty pouch in my handbag and headed towards the outdoor furniture and garden department.

I didn’t know what to think.  Maybe someone was devastated with the loss of their Jesus?  Maybe they went to the manager and had asked if anyone had found him?  Who knew?  I realized the importance of my find and the task I now had.  I had to at least make an attempt to give the Jesus back to its owner. But how I wondered?

Pushing away the strong thought of keeping him, instead I made an earnest attempt to bring Jesus and its true owner back together, and so I fished in my handbag for a piece of paper and a pen.  That done, I quickly wrote a large note:  If anyone has lost Jesus, I want you to know that I found him.  I gave my home phone and even my cell phone number, including a quick description. Found: one extremely tiny shiny Jesus, arms outstretched. He is less than an inch high and maybe the same across the arms.  Then I continued off to my original mission–red chair cushions.

I didn’t find the items I was looking for and there wasn’t anything else I needed at Kmart. As far as I could think, I had already found something major and anything else would just be a token.  I went back towards my car, eyes down for any other bright objects that I might spot and after an uneventful trip got into my car and drove home.

I could lie and say the phone rang off the hook, but it didn’t–not one single call.  I realized that mostly everyone that was supposed to have found Jesus had already accomplished that many years ago.  The one quietly residing in my purse was mine.  I was excited, euphoric, waiting for my ship to come in.  Naturally, I thought, this was a good luck omen.  Of course what else could it be?  I waited until after some time had passed. Then I started buying mega million lottery tickets, then pursued horse races, after that I took up different types of lottery tickets.  Nothing happened.  Well, something did happen though; I felt the feeling of hope. And it felt good–somewhat.

You see I have omitted a fact during this story.  Something I feel compelled to disclose.  I’m Jewish and don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the least embarrassed about that fact.  We all know that Jesus was Jewish and I’m sure he being a good benevolent man would not use my religion against me–not at all.

Although it did cross my mind that maybe this was one of the reasons for my luck not rising through the Richter scale, but I am holding on to deep faith. Nothing has happened yet.  I’m positive it will sooner or later.  I still buy lottery tickets. No more betting on horses though. The other day I had a few of the winning numbers but not consecutively on one ticket, instead the numbers were dispersed on a set of five tickets.  I thought that might be a good sign.  On Monday I’ll buy a few more; this time while holding Jesus close to my heart.  I’ll let you know how things go.  Eventually they will kick in.  I’m sure of it.

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My daughter,Alexi  and  me went to the Hamptons this weekend, well actually for the day not the entire weekend, and we had a great time.  We could have had a better time if my blackberry phone was suspended erroneously and we took so much time at the ATT store to fix the mistake that we missed the Polo where I heard Madonna was attending.  Damn.  Things changed we were at the first Polo match then.  We had a routine. We get breakfast at the Golden Pear take food from there and go to  East Hampton and  Main  beach.  In the early years (meaning when my husband was alive) our Hampton forays would happen every other weekend from June through to September.  We didnt have a big mansion or even a small one to drop our luggage in but we had a great old farmhouse where I met Margit a lovely woman who was in charge of a simple no frills bed and breakfast in Bridgehampton.  It was on the north side of the highway and it was grand.  We ate good, walked a lot, shopped well and went to the beach.  Now a days we would not have been able to go to the beach as “our” beach was unavailable for those that didnt have a permit.  It seems that unless you are a property owner or an occupant of one of the gorgeous inns in East Hampton you are not allowed to park at the Main Beach parking lot. Without the parking we couldnt go on  the beach until  after five when the parking lot was open to us non regulars and we could have dipped our toes in the water but what good is that.  Then we would still have not been  able to go to  Polo as it starts at 4:00 and ends until 6:00. No matter we had a great time. We always have a great time at the Hamptons.

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Some how I feel a new feeling in my heart.  Things just might be okay and if not something else will come along and that will be okay.  No more time to be depressed and anxious.  Today truly is going to be the first day of the rest of my life and it will be better than ever.  I hope that is.  Never be sure of anything good bad or indifferent.   See you soon blog.

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Recently my family took me to dinner for my birthday,  actually my daughters as well as hers is the day before mine.  I loved the dinner at our local Italian restaurant. My grandchildren behaved as well as my married and the best of all  the flip video.  Everything was exactly what I wished for and my kids got them for me.  I felt like queen for the day, until of course all my problems loomed above me and I was sad.  I need a miracle and it better be soon.

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I am demoralized lately.  Ever since my Sphynx cat Charles passed away I have been sad.   I miss him terrible.  I have toyed with the idea of getting another pet, but never moved on it until recently. I was driving in my area and saw a girl walking three dogs one had huge ears and reminded me of my Charles.  I stopped my car , rolled down the window and asked the girl what type of dog that was and she said it was a Papillon.  I asked other questions such as if it was hard to groom, friendly, was good with other animals as I still have my two great cats PJ and Cody and don’t want them to be upset with another animal.  She raved about her Papillon and I drove away.

Ever since then I have been trying to get a Papillon and all I find is a few extremely expensive breeders and a lot of puppies that seem to be from puppy mills.  I spend most of my time on the internet trying to find a puppy that is not from a puppy mill and I haven’t yet.

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